New Brunswick, you’re still going to hate it!
This post will highlight a few reasons why I think you’re not going to want to visit NB, unless you’re a weirdo who likes amazing food, cool places to stay, beautiful sceneries and fun things to do; that sounds horrible, right?
Anyone who has been here before knows that the only thing to eat is fresh seafood! Like, fresh fresh; like lobster caught in the morning, eaten before sunset, fresh. You can even dig your own clams…with a shovel…on a sand bar and eat them.
Anyone who doesn’t like fresh seafood shouldn’t come here, you’ll surely starve! I mean unless you like authentic Korean, Indian, Vietnamese. Or Italian, yuck Italian.
There’s also authentic German, Japanese, Syrian and more. I guess what I’m trying to say is that NB, once just a bunch of basic English and French people food, is now very diverse, some might even say borderline cosmopolitan. (Fun fact, growing up as an Acadian, I was exposed to three spices; salt, pepper & summer savory, lol)
There are no big skyscrapers or cool places to stay.
Need proof? Take a look at NB’s two largest cities, Moncton and Saint John; do you see any cool skyscraper hotels? Nope, just a church, and some weird looking tower.
NB has over 5,500km of coastal shoreline, with cute cottages littered throughout the whole coast, don’t rent a beachy cottage, trust me, you won’t like it.
There’s also been a boom of alien, golf ball looking camping domes. I mean do these even qualify as camping?? With their kitchenette’s, full bathrooms and luxurious beds; and that’s only on the inside. Most come with hot tubs, who in their right mind would want to soak in a wood fired hot tub, in the middle of a forest? Not me!
Get this, Miramichi, another skyscraper free city, has the balls to offer treehouses, that you can rent and sleep in; omg are we 12?
Oh and I guess you could sleep in a lighthouse or even a castle, if that’s your thing?
And there certainly isn’t a lack of cute, rustic cabines available in the province, if you really want to rough it.
NB is too green
It’s said that no matter where you are in NB, if you drive 15 to 20 min in any direction, you’ll find yourself in the forest, which is, you guessed it, green. Green is literally all you see in this province…boring!
Everything is green, except for a few weeks in the summer when the lavender fields are in bloom.
Oh and there are a few weeks when wild lupins just pop up, uninvited, on the sides of our highways. Which I guess are pretty if you like purples and pinks?
And for those few who are fans of the colour yellow, you may like the thousands of sunflowers that show up at the end of summer throughout the province.
Some people even find beauty in the snow that blankets everything in white…EVERYTHING, from Novembre to March…just kidding, till April. But at least it’s a pause from all that greenery, which honestly is a nice break.
Ugh, more pink!
New Brunswick is such a small province, it’s really void of any sophistication and culture.
Sure we do have our own ballet company and in the summer they offer performances by the ocean; if you think seeing a ballet outside near the ocean is damn cool…you would be right. I can’t even put a funny spin on this one, this is hella cool!
Mmmm what else would be considered a cultural activity?? How about an immersive Mi’kmaq tour? Yes, I’m pretty sure that would qualify.
You can book a tour via the Elsipogtog Mi’kmaq Culture Center, follow them on Facebook for other super interesting events.
If you like world class music, then you may like Fredericton’s Harvest Music Festival, but get this it’s 7 days of music, way to show off Fredericton!!
We, New Brunswicker’s, tend to sell ourselves and our culture short, we’re actually much more interested than we think we are.
And finally there is just noting fun to do here!
Sure you can do yoga on one of the nicest beaches in Canada, some may even say THE best! And did I mention you can watch the sunset while doing yoga on a beautiful beach? Y’a that sucks, I know, I’ve done it before.
If yoga isn’t your thing, you can also interact with some “wild” animals, which sounds pretty dangerous to me.
Get this, in early spring, the trees in these parts start dripping, it’s doesn’t get much stranger and grosser than that.
You can walk in the woods and see silver buckets hung on trees. They gather the sap, boil it and make maple syrup out of this tree slime.
They, the sap people, will even pour some on a fresh bed of snow for you and give you a stick so that you can twirl it on and eat it, gross!!! And this happens all over NB, there is just no escape.
New Brunswick is also home to the Bay of Fundy which has the fastest and highest tides in the world, it’s true, Google it.
This freak show let’s you walk on the ocean floor then kayak around; been there, done it, loved it…I mean, ugh it was awful.
So if you think you can handle these horrible things, then you may as well plan a trip to NB and if you’re from here, get out and explore this freakishly fabulous place we call home!
Bonus Photos below with cheeky comments, also follow me on Instagram (oui-liette) where I’m mildly entertaining.