Shark! How to survive an attack.

Shark!

In this post I will share my in depth knowledge on how to survive a shark attack. You may be wondering what makes me qualified to give such advice? Am I a marine biologist?? No, I am in marketing, lol, but! I have been watching Discovery Channel’s Shark Week for years!!!

Ok, sure, make fun of my qualifications, but if you are ever face to face with a great white shark, you are going to regret not reading my post!! 🦈

Tip #1

Don’t look like shark food! If you walk…or swim away with one thing from this post, it should be this; don’t look or act like something a shark would eat! So don’t look or act like a seal or a turtle.

Sharks often hunt from below and swim to the surface and attack! If you are on a surfboard, guess what? You are going to look like a turtle. My advice, don’t surf!! But if you really need to surf, go to Moncton, NB and surf the tidal bore; there have been zero shark attacks in the Petitcodiac River…you’re welcome!

Tip #2

Don’t hang around with shark food! A shark’s fav things to eat are seals. Let’s say you are minding your own damn business on your kayak and you see a bunch of seals frolicking around…leave! Sticking around is as dumb as those white people in all those horror movies who hear a noise and stick around to investigate instead of getting the hell out of there.

And if you do see a bunch of seals and then they suddenly disappear, you are in serious trouble, paddle your little heart out before you get eaten!

Tip #3

Stay calm and fight! Ok the chances of me staying calm if under attack by a shark are zero, but apparently that’s what you have to do. Sharks don’t like humans because we are too bony, so if you are being bit, you obviously haven’t followed Tip #1 and they think you are a seal or a turtle.

If you do find yourself in the jaws of a shark, you need to poke them in the eyes or hit them on the snout…mmm ok, I don’t know if a sharks nose is called a snout; but it doesn’t really matter, just punch them in that general area. This will let them know you aren’t a seal and they should let you go; good luck…oh and stay calm.

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Tip #4

Be pro-active! There are some researchers who seem to think that sharks are attracted to the color yellow, so don’t ride a yellow surfboard or a yellow stand up board thing; just to be safe, I would avoid wearing a yellow swimsuit in any body of water that may have a shark in it, just to be safe.

There also seems to be an increase in attacks at dusk and dawn and when the water is murky. I am currently watching: I Was Prey, and both survivors say that they sensed something was not right before they were attacked. One lady said she saw a sea lion pop out of the water and it looked her in the eyes with a panicked look on its face. Now, even though I am not a marine biologist, I am almost positive that, that sean lion was telling her to get the f@&k out of the water!! Guys you need to listen to your sixth sense and the sea lion!

Tip #5

Ok, that last tip has stressed me out, lol. So tip #5 is that maybe you shouldn’t swim in shark infested waters??

But to be serious for a minute, the chances of being bitten by a shark are very slim. Did you know that more people die from snake bites a year than by sharks? Yup, worldwide, 200 people die each day from snake bites. So don’t be afraid of sharks, be afraid of snakes, lol.

So to recap, don’t look like shark food, don’t wear yellow, don’t swim in murky water and sea lions are your friends.

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The photo above is my little brother and I getting ready for our first big shark fishing trip, circa 1976 ish, lol. That’s me on the left in case you don’t recognize me without my lipstick.

Thanks for reading as always! Be safe out there and enjoy the rest of your summer!

muah!

Liette

 

 

 

 

 

Friday Favs! Summer Edition

Friday Faves! Summer Edition

Here are a few of my favorite things that I am digging this summer; yes, I said digging, it’s cool again right?…no?? Please note, I am not getting paid by these companies, I bought these with my own hard earned money. But if anyone wants to give me free stuff, I am open to that!! Lol

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1. TKEES flip flops

Living in the desert, I live in flip flops. I found these online and thought they were pretty. They come in a multitude of nude shades, which I love; I didn’t get a nude pair though, nope, I stuck with black, because that’s how I roll. But I did get a nude pair for my friend Staci for her birthday and I may get a second pair in nude for myself, because hers are so cute.

What makes these different is that you can get your initials printed on them. They print on one of the straps; it’s small, subtle, but super cute!

You can find them at http://www.tkees.com

 

2. Nova Scotia Crystal Glasses

My mother and my grandmother collected crystal glasses and I have to admit, that I considered crystal to be old fashion. But then I went to a dinner party and my hostess had the nicest, none granny, crystal stemware. I went on a quest to find a modern, yet classic, crystal pattern that I would have forever.

Ok, the rest of the story is that she got hers when she got married and a lot of the ladies were like, oh I got some when I got married too, but never use mine; I need to take it out, bla, bla, bla. The voice inside my head while all this was going on was like; I don’t need to get married to have crystal, I can buy my own damn crystal!!! Something like that. Lol

I was referred to Nova Scotia Crystal, their crystal is hand blown and are works of art, and the fact they are a Maritime company is a bonus! For my American friends Canada has 3 provinces known as The Maritimes: New Brunswick, Nova Scotia and Prince Edward Island.

I fell in love with their Luna pattern, because I love polka dots!

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Since they are pricy, I have been getting two at a time every few months. I now have 6 of the Double Barrel Tumbler and they are soooo pretty. They are super heavy and even though they are hand blown crystal, they are not fragile, so I won’t be afraid to use them.

Pick your fav pattern and add them to your Christmas list and ask Santa to buy you a few! Next on my list will be 6 of these old school martini glasses.

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Seriously, how pretty are these!!! Check them out at http://www.novascotiacrystal.com, they ship to the US too!

3. Beach Book

I am not a huge self help book person. I actually bought this book for a friend, but started reading it and I am now keeping it. I may let her read it when I am done?…maybe? Lol.

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The title caught my eye, but once I started reading, I really bought into his theory that we all have the power to change or make our lives different, we hold the power. And that the messages we tell ourselves daily help to create our reality.

I am almost done and I am really digging it! 😬. It’s an easy ready, bring it to the beach or to the lake.

4. Anything cacti!

These plates and paper straws from Target  make me want to throw a BBQ. Anything cactus themed is all the rage this summer. And these were super inexpensive!

True story, I bought a cactus water color in Moncton, NB, Canada; got it framed, in Moncton, and lugged it cross continent to the desert in Las Vegas. I felt like they needed to be in the desert, lol. But I didn’t think it through completely,  it would have been much easier had I brought the print with me and gotten it framed in Vegas. Oh well, live and learn! Check out the artist on insta: birch.house.lettering, she is super talented. Oh and it’s always cool to support local artists!

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My cacti are similar to these, but way bigger!

5. Summer Robe

So this is what I do when I can’t sleep late at night? I shop for odd things. One night I convinced myself  that I needed a fancy Asian vibe robe; I was actually looking at Asian silk pajamas, but settled on this. My white fluffy robe is just way to hot for the summer.

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It’s really pretty and will last for a long time so it’s an investment…right?? Lol, actually it wasn’t that expensive. Google it on Amazon if interested.

My weekend plans are to slip into my new robe, read my book, while sipping lemonade through my paper cactus straw from my Luna pattern crystal glass that I paid for with my own damn money, because I am worth it!!!

What will you he doing? Whatever it is, have a fabulous time!!! I hope you enjoyed my fav things of the summer! Be sure to sign up so you don’t miss a post, because that would suck!

muah!

Liette